Seeing is believing…

So my life has been pretty crazy in the last year. But as I was trying to fall asleep last night, I had the idea for a blog post.

When we are children we believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny even though we can’t physically see them (except in costumes at malls and such). As we get older, we begin to only trust what we can see because it’s simpler for our minds. But why does it take us so long to get back to believing in what we can’t see?

Why does it take us so long to remember fate and the power of the Universe? Why can’t we have faith that the Universe has our back and we are being guided to where we are meant to be? Why are we constantly trying to struggle against the current because we are afraid to let go and trust?

We make our lives harder than they need to be because we aren’t ready to do ‘the scary thing’. Whether it be quite our mind-numbing job and do something that lights us up or end that relationship, or move to a different house, or even start a new hobby! We resist and resist because our ego is trying to keep us from simplicity and flow. A good friend of mine once told me.. what you resist persists. It is obviously a lesson you need to learn and it will stop appearing in your life when you’ve finally learned the lesson.

I’ll do my best to be around more as I have some interesting topics from my journal I want to talk about!

Until next time,

H.

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Personal Growth

So I’ve been spending a lot of time working on myself in the last two years. I’ve been going over past experiences that have caused me trauma or pain and forgiving those who caused it.

For example, there was a girl in my high school (and elementary school for that matter) who just did not like me. I never did anything to her, but she couldn’t stand me. So one day I was leaving school to go out for lunch and she said “ha, bitch.” One of my older friends was standing beside her and didn’t say a word.

Being afraid of confrontation, I didn’t say anything, but I always wished I had. I have become a big believer in karma and the idea that the energy you put out into the world is what you manifest into your life. Now I realize that she didn’t know better because that it what society is teaching girls; to hate on and compete with other girls. I’ve moved past it, and if I ever see her again and she acts immaturely I’ll just tell her.

Sometimes you just have to celebrate the little things.

Until next time,

H.

What does it mean to have your ‘shit’ together?

So twice lately I’ve been told I have my ‘shit’ together. But what exactly does that mean? Does that mean I’m being a functioning member of society? Does it mean that I’m just not doing drugs and going to raves? Does it mean that I’m more ‘adult’ than people my age? Or does it just mean that I know what I want to do with my life and am doing productive things to get there?

Honestly, if you have a job, somewhere to live, and something to eat you’re doing better than a lot of people. If you treat other people respect and are happy at least half the time, you’re doing better than a lot of people. If you judge your success based on your personal growth instead of comparing yourself to others, you’re doing better than most. But does any of this mean you have your ‘shit’ together?

Whatever it means, don’t worry too much, because getting your shit together is what your 20s are for (:

Until next time,

H.

Losing a BFF

In the last couple of years, a lot has changed. I’ve graduated university, moved home, started a business, gotten a pup, and started (and ended) several friendships. If you and your best friend don’t go to the same university, you would still expect to see them every chance you got right? Well thats not quite how it happened with one of mine.

I told her in advance of when I was coming home for the weekend so we could hang out for an hour or two but she always claimed she was ‘busy’. We would text about once a week at first… then by fourth year it was about every two months saying “oh man haven’t talked to you in a while, how are ya?” Then in the summers I would see her a little bit (she legitimately lives about 3 blocks from me) but kept claiming she was ‘busy’ even though her summer school was only 3 days a week and I worked 6 days a week.

Eventually I just realized that you make time for the people that you care about. So I stopped offering and planning to see what she would do. I didn’t hear from her for probably two months. Now you would think I’m upset about it. But we’ve been growing apart since some (unnecessary) drama in high school. So she has become one of my ‘sometimes’  friends. Where they only message you if they want something or have no one else to do a specific activity with.

Honestly, the only people I want in my life are people who treat me with the same respect that I give them. If you are going to cause drama, or unnecessary stress, just forget it. It was time to let it go. I feel so much lighter not having to worry about it.

Something else you should know about me is that I take care of my people. I look after all my friends and help then whenever they ask, because thats who I am. I am also still learning how to ask for help when I need it. So if after over 10 years of friendship, you can’t help me out the one time I ask, then who needs ya.

*mic drop*

Until next time,

H.

What if food was real?

What if our food was allowed to grow the way it was meant to? What if cancer-causing chemicals weren’t pumping into our food in order to maximize profit? What if farms weren’t turned into new housing developments or shopping centers?

The rate of cancer and hundreds of other diseases would be back down to the way they were in our grandparents time, yet we would still have the medicine to take care of ourselves.

For the last 3 years or so, I’ve had issues with my energy levels. Doctors have suggested boosting my adrenals and when that didn’t work, they suggested boost my thyroid. Then it went back to adrenals again.. I think it was because I was burnt out at first, but then I figured it must be something to do with my diet. Then I ran into a lady who worked for Juice Plus.

Now I’ve never paid for something that requires a monthly payment, but this was literally fruits and veggies in a capsule. The basis behind it being that the fruits and veggies we eat are mostly chemicals and you can’t get the required vitamins and minerals from typical foods. So I decided to give it a try because I was tired of being tired. Its been about 2 months now and I have to say that my energy is above where it was a few years ago! I’m more productive, my skin is better and my immune system is stronger. Morale of the story: don’t knock it til you try it.

Until next time,

H.

How to tell your parents you’re sexually active.

My mom gave me ‘the talk’ and asked me to tell her when I became sexually active. Of course I told her I would, but as long as I’m being safe about it, I feel like its a personal topic.

Then I went for my yearly physical last week. Everything went well, I came home and made a comment to my mom about how uncomfortable they are and she said ‘just wait until you get internals!’.

Sometimes I forget she doesn’t know I’m sexually active.. and have been for 5 years. So my question for you all is .. how do you tell your parents?

Until next time,

H.

Dear new boyfriend…

So as my previous post said, I recently got into a new relationship at the beginning of this month. The last ‘official’ relationship I was in was 3.5 years ago, so I’m a little rusty.

I have a fairly big nurturing side, so I know I am good at that aspect. But it is more the trusting and opening up aspect that I have trouble with. At first I thought it was because of my father… but now I think its because that is what experience has taught me. If you open yourself up, you will get hurt. I’m fine with telling him stories about me, but when it comes to emotional stories and those about being hurt or embarrassed I have difficulty. If I want him to love me for who I am, I have to be able to tell him these things right!?

I’ve been working on myself a lot in the last year and a half. I know I’m getting better at being open and honest, but my initial reaction is still to close myself off or push him away. I can be better at it, but that would require me telling him all of this…

I enjoy spending time with him, even if we do nothing. I like just having conversations with him over some bar food. I’m fairly easy going as a girlfriend (I think). As long as you respect me, support me, and care for me we shouldn’t have any problems. I’m not into big, flashy gifts or nights out. I just want to spend time with you. I don’t care if its going for a hike in the forest or helping you fix your car. I would rather be your zombie killing partner, or spend rainy days gaming together than get all dressed up and go somewhere. I mean sure, once and a while I liked getting dressed up. But I prefer street festivals to fancy dinners. Live outdoor music to raves. And would much rather do something that you like over putting you through dragging you along with me somewhere. I have friends and my dog for that. I just want to make you as happy as you make me.

Just give me a chance and let me grow through my struggle. Support me instead of putting me down. Help me be the better person I know I can be. Maybe we’ll fall in love somewhere along the way. Maybe someday I’ll let you read this..

Until next time,

H.